Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

64-62 Days Until of Presidential Election: Cookie Monster, Jury Trials and Shopping Malls

September 5, 2012

Day 64: I love my blue furried monster.  I mean, really, how can you not love Cookie Monster? COOOOKIE! (But he doesn’t like celery!).  In a weird twist of fate, Big Bird and I share the same birthday (he’s a bit older, not by much).  I was part of the “original” Sesame Street Generation.  Growing up in the middle of Ohio and then northern Illinois, there wasn’t a lot of diversity: apartments? Corner stores? Different ethnicities? And Spanish?  To this day, I say I speak Sesame Street Spanish (pretty close).  Sesame Street taught me a lot of things: how to count, that really you should eat your vegetables before cookies (sorry my furry friend) and that monsters and birds CAN be friends. I haven’t watched Sesame Street since Mr. Hooper died (I tuned it in because they did a special episode over Thanksgiving my junior year in college: I cried.  My brother mocked me – he’s good at that but he’s an Underdog kid). Apparently Snuffy can be seen by adults but one of the little slivers of that makes this country great is Sesame Street: if anything, it gives those of us who grow up in the middle of the country a glimpse of what another part of the world looks like.

Day 63: I was driving home the other day and there was a new story about another individual being punished by tribunal. As I waited to turn into my parking lot, I realized one thing I’m grateful for: a jury of my peers to determine my guilt.  I’ve never been called to jury duty but it’s the concept.  Yes, it’s really not a “jury of peers” but a jury representative of our community. I’ve lived where there is not a jury system.   We take this right for granted: that if we are accused, we can confront our accuser, we can be tried in an open system.  Yeah, that’s a slice of this place I’d fight for.

62: Ok, I don’t like shopping malls except for in the middle of summer or winter when I’m feeling a bit closed in and decide I have to see exactly how untrendy I am (very) or decide I completely and totally need a (very useless) gadget.  In all semi-seriousness, malls have served some decent purposes: they housed the world’s first indoor rollercoaster (Old Chicago, Bolingbrook Illinois), provided introduction to many people of (American) Japanese, Indian, Thai and Mexican foods, provided countless first jobs, part time work, converted great parks into vast consumerist spots (hmmm, ok that is a bad idea).  Really, the best part of the mall is the store that constantly keeps giving me new iPhones as things keep happening to mine.


The Road to Employment: Part III

February 7, 2012

This should really be titled Part II(b). I decided to google the individual for whom I made the database.

Big mistake.

I sorta had a tea party.

No silly. Not the Alice type. The Sarah Palin type.

Whoops. The only good part? The database was never updated.  If you subscribe to the service, you too can think that Anthony Weiner is a member of the US House of Representatives from NY.

The proof is in the pudding

September 26, 2010

Ok, so I spent most of my childhood HIDING during canning season. The kitchen was too hot. The pressure cooker terrified me (it still does). And the thought of picking, washing and cutting corn, tomatoes, green beans made me SWEAR I’d NEVER can/freeze or in any way shape or form preserve food that could be purchased. I kept that promise for about 25 years. How did I wind up domesticated?

Betty White

May 9, 2010

Like millions of people last night, I turned on Saturday Night Live to watch the iconic Betty White host a show I haven’t seen on a regular basis in years.  I laughed until I cried and then I laughed some more.  From her opening monologue where she chided the social networkers with almost a grandmotherly love (How many of us have gotten on Facebook for 5 minutes to discover it is 2 hours later?) to mocking the census/immigration process at the end and the tragic renaming that did occur at Ellis Island (and I’ll pick Pacific Islander as well!), Betty White reminded us that age is a construct.  Yes, the show was laced with hysterical double entendres, yes Betty White said lesbian and yes Betty White even dropped the f-bomb and there was so, so much more.

An 88 and a half year old woman hosted Saturday Night Live.  The returning cast members, all women, stood in tribute almost to those who came before them, more cracks to the glass ceiling that Secretary of State Clinton declared at the 2008 Democratic National Convention.  It was feminism at its very best. There wasn’t an overt declaration of a tribute to women: there was an outpouring of love that started because of a crazy Facebook movement out of a Super Bowl ad for Snickers (poor Abe Vigoda – I’ve lost count if he is actually alive or dead.).  But at the end of the show, you saw it: surrounded by a mostly female cast, you saw the results of Title IX, the Pill being 50, the granddaughters of those who burned bras paying tribute to a ground breaking woman who at one point was one of the few women in television.  And it was funny.  It wasn’t “I am woman hear me roar”: It was I am a woman and your point is? I can host SNL at 88 (and a half), can you?

Ageism, sexism, xenophobia be dammed.  Last night, we were treated to a rarity.  A woman who could make fun of herself, make fun of us and we all seemed to enjoy it.  But I know I’ll never eat a muffin the same way again.  And once again, there are a few more cracks in the ceiling, this time, by a woman who put a few of the first ones there.  And she reminded us, ever so gently, as a grandmother would, to keep pushing forward and keep putting those cracks in the ceiling.