Chronically Cranky

Today is one of those days. I have a list of things that I must get done (visitors en route!) and it’s raining.  Normally rain is something that is just a pain … today, the rain found every healed fracture line, unrepaired nick in my body and screams out stop.  Four or five days a year I’m like this. I can’t move.  I mean, I can move but every movement is that end of a long work workout feeling of moving a jelly like body through space. Every molecule hurts.

I suppose I should back up. Most days I hurt: hurt like smacking your knee cap into a metal post hurt.  Every day it’s not an “if” but “how much”.  Pain free? Oh, I’d pay. I’d pay. I’d pay for a week of pain-free.  Somebody a few weeks ago told me that “you’ve (meaning me) learned so much from your pain.” Seriously? Yeah, distance worked in this case: the person is still breathing and to my knowledge pain-free.  The entire medical system has not found a good answer to chronic pain.  Right now my very tender knee is wrapped in a brace with two non-narcotic pain patches, elevated and flexed in an attempt at least calm down my knee enough to get something done today.  I’ve had 31 orthopaedic surgeries. Yup. 31.  I’ve been poke, jabbed, prodded more than I care to think about most days (ok, really any day).

And today I just hurt.  The cold rain hurts.  Pain is the way our body tells us pay attention.  And I’m tired of trying to find something to at least make the pain manageable. My body feels mangled.  I really just want a day without pain.

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One Response to “Chronically Cranky”

  1. Man Says:

    Just where is the facebook like button ?

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