Not better…just different

The “things get better” viral outbreak on YouTube is driving me nuts. Not because of the genuine feelings expressed by so many people regarding LGBTQ youth/young adults and the struggle to come out: I appreciate that aspect of the postings. 

It’s the fallacy of the “things get better” that annoys me to no end: my take, they just get different. We live in a homophobic culture where stereotypes are reinforced from advertisements to television shows to linguistics. It doesn’t get easier regarding the hate, the violence, we learn to adapt and how to hide when needed. We live in a society where people DEBATE over our basic civil rights. Where members of the LGBT community need papers showing power of attorney, etc if they leave a state that allows marriage for another one, a country where in some states it is ILLEGAL to adopt if you are gay. It doesn’t get easier. Like life, over all, it just gets different.

It becomes easier as an individual accepts his/her sexual orientation. It becomes easier as people you love re-accept you. But it doesn’t get better in the binary sense. It’s still hard. And it still hurts when people can’t see past constructs to the person. That is what I’d like to see: it’s hard, we are here for you and together we will break down the stereotypes. Why? Because maybe then it will get easier for the next person. And maybe people will stop dying simply because of their sexual orientation.


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